So friends, I think it’s time for me to be a little more transparent about the things that have been unfolding within my life lately. Mainly, to justify my lack of blog-activity, but also because I need an outlet other than my mom, or my friends, or someone that just so happens to ask me how my day is going on one of “those days”.
I’ve put this post off for almost two weeks now because I wasn’t really sure how I’d start it all off, but honestly the more I thought about it the less confident I became about actually posting this, so here goes.
I’m no longer with my boyfriend, I’m leaving my job, and I’m moving back to Michigan.
Whew. Loaded statement.
What it all really boils down to is that I was not happy with my life – and I was not happy with where I saw it going, so things needed to change. Big time.
Out of respect for Andrew, I’m not entirely comfortable sharing what has been and is still going on between him and I. However, it is a large piece of the puzzle right now so it wouldn’t make sense to not mention it at all.. obviously. Our separation happened back in December, and since then I’ve really just been trying to figure out my life. Also, we’re still currently living together for financial and logistical reasons, which adds yet another layer of stress, although I must say it’s been working out better than I had expected.
What I will share, though, is that I absolutely, completely, truly, madly, deeply and honestly hate living in South Florida. No disrespect to others that live here and disagree – maybe hate is a strong word – but hear me out: I’ve lived here now for close to 3 years and cannot find my place. Being from the Midwest, my lifestyle is drastically different than the stylish, flashy and high-paced Miami-esque lifestyles of SoFla. Most of the time when I meet someone new, they say to me, “you’re not from here, are you?”. I’ve found very few people here that I can relate to, and funny enough they have all moved out of the area too. I also am finding that family is more important than anything, and being 1500 miles away at a time like this is so unbelievably hard.
And yeah yeah yeah, I get that it’s 80 degrees and sunny 95% of the time but you know what I have to say about that? You lose the appreciation for those beautiful sunny days when you hate everything else. It’s true, very sad but very true.
Since the only thing really holding me in South Florida at this point is my job, that was the next step. I recently put in a solid months notice, because truth be told I do really like my job, boss and coworkers, so I wanted to give them ample time to fill the position. Don’t get me wrong, as a twenty-something, I am utterly grateful to have been employed full-time. I also know that life is too short to be this unhappy. I’m allowed to make mistakes and luckily I’m young enough to justify those mistakes – that’s my philosophy right now.
So, in just about a month I will be moving back to the chilly state of Michigan. Believe me when I say this is not on a whim, I’ve given this a lot of thought, maybe too much. I can’t say with 100% certainty if this is the right choice, but what I do know is that staying here would be the wrong choice.
Of course, there will be more detail to come in later posts but I really wanted to get the news out because I want to start posting regularly again, or at least more often. It’s been tough because it’s hard to be open and have my blog-voice when there was so much I was hiding and keeping inside. Anyway, this post is all over the place and there was really no better way for me to get it all out there, so I hope this let you in on a little glimpse of my crazy current situation.
